Feeling that what HO was talking about was just for me.
To be in the ripe and juicy space of confronting the shadow, experiencing own conflict and confusion.
Respecting the important role of the quiet Witness.
Questions about SOL – “what is coming up is exactly why I came to this” Appreciation that leadership emerged from the circle. Why didn’t I step up at that time? Oppressor, Victim roles come into play - even though I'm often in the leader role, at this moment I felt like "someone else is in charge"
The "Tyranny of the clock"
Observation: hierarchy is not all bad (ideology of OS?) but it’s a mix of structure and spontaneity. Apreciative that OS is not all things to all people, we find its best applications & the times when we o need structure and differentiation.
Structure in OS is very present – emergent not preordained.
Choice point – “tyranny of the clock”
Wondering if it would be useful to make explicit that the LoTF? applies to plenary sessiona as well? Proposal to do that in the future.
Appreciation of all the comments, as well as noting that I don’t call this experience “shadow’ (as a previous speaker did in rich detail) – a caution about the labeling of something.
Pit in the stomach feeling, time to speak my truth. Sense of Father Energy in the room. Respects and honors it, and that we need to create the space where that Father Energy dies in the best way so that what the children, Mothers and Grandmothers can bring forth what we need now. What do we need to release?
Hell Fucking No. To kill the Father in order to to allow this process to leave – that is unsustainable.
Feeling the pain even more deeply of living in the tension of the individual and the collective (which she expressed in circle last night). In a way I was insensitive and didn’t notice what was happening. The biggest thing that I heard that hurt me the most was that some people are in great pain. Homelessness. I’m not at that precipice but any of us could be. OS opens the conversation that matters for me. Sorry if I didn’t feel other peoples' pain.
Deep respect for what is happening in the room. Much multiplicity. Heart pounding. Some of us do live where we are touching really closely our people who are living in a lot of pain and suffereing. Also wants to avoid falling into inefficiency. Thread of female leadership – way of being in the world. Honor leadership, humble and graceful and strong. What for me is the feminine response – would be to say thank you, I’m going to wrap up soon, acknowledge the request rather than the steamroller that says I’m just going to do what I want. There is a kind of grace that is missing in our white male leadership, a system of communication that is ready to be composted and given back to the earth.
Feminine & masc in each of us is essential. Grateful for what I saw happening here. I have been in that place as a leader many times. As women leaders (and men do this too) – holding the energy and the space that’s happening, what’s going on in everyone, so that everyone feels the safety. But as leader we can’t do that all the time, and it’s really the responsibility of everyone in the room. For me it was the leaders wanting to be perfect, but there’s also something about leadership that backs away and says that’s what’s happening right now. Grateful to be able to see that and feel that and know that as a leader I don’t want to go there again. Hold the space myself. If we stay, that’s what I feel our responsibility it – hold that space and that clarity for what is happening.
Screaming inside – so much information; I also want to take some personal open space for myself. Everyone stand up and take a moment to think for yourself, what am I thinking and what am I feeling right here at this moment.
What makes safety is when each of us is willing to play our role. Shadow is fragmentation. It’s the wounded place in each of us that is touched on. Right now presenting itself to be healed. The love has landed. When that particular wound shows up it’s available to be healed. Ally one another. Meet each other in that respectful way, you have something to give ea other if you are triggered by each other.
One of the biggest learnings for me about LSOW is when Joan said, something has not been addressed & I’m not comfortable with it; then she just faded back and let it happen.
(As I reread this I think I ended up leaving a lot out a lot but you can get the gist of the conversation - ChristyLeeEngel)